2 little measly words…………BRAIN FOG

*Warning this blog contains EXPLICIT language, run on sentences and other grammar errors!*

So this slightly embarrassing to admit, but I always intended for this blog to be raw and honest. 

Since becoming ill with RA & Fibro brain fog has a whole new meaning then my normal ditziness self!

Let me explain, I have always been a little on the ditzy side. Who am I kidding, I'm a hott mess ditz! Ya know forgetting silly things like remembering to put deodorant on if I'm rushing in the morning, getting lost or not following directions, maybe forgetting to get gas here and there, locking my keys in the car, misplacing my cell phone while shopping at Target, forgetting to take the trash out on trash days, having too much crap in my hands for my keys so I stuff them in my bra only to run around for an extra 15 minutes looking for my LOST keys, not remembering what isle I parked the car at the mall, running out of the house late to teach a yoga class with Halloween slippers and jeans on, I may have even forgotten to pick up a kid or two from baseball game or maybe a dance class! This is referred to as normal Jamie shit!

Now this brain fog shit has a whole new other meaning! It's taken over leaving me stranded in mid-sentence either forgetting what I am saying or not being able to come up with the words that I need to finish my sentence. It's the simple things now that my brain struggles with. I used to be the queen of multitasking! Now I have to chant if I leave the room to go get something out of the kitchen like "paper towel, paper towel, paper towel" if not then I stand in the kitchen and can't for the life of me remember why I’m there. I can leave my house, traveling the same way for years and one day I leave and totally find myself 2 towns over completely lost. Just the other day I left the coffee shop walked right up to a car trying to unlock said car only to finally realize its not even my white car but a baby puke colored ugly thing! I have lists and post it notes everywhere! I have found my day planner in the kitchen cabinet, flip flops in the dryer, empty coffee cup in the fridge. I have even turned the shower on and while it was warming up get side tracked only to realize 45 minutes later that it was still running! I have also left the refrigerator door open for hours one day (thank golly, that it’s normally there for decoration or to store wine!)

This is such an embarrassing and one of the worst symptoms of the Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia disease that I struggle with.One reason being because I can't really hide this to well! And it's pretty damn scary! I tend to become worse with stress and if I'm overwhelmed. And lets face it stress is part of life! I worry and wonder so often how in the hell am I going to be when I’m an “olds”!?!?!?  I mean really if shit is this bad now I’m defiantly going to be fucked then! 

I am currently taking applications for a keeper tho!!!  (wink, wink)  
And this is only because my eldest and most favorite son is already threatening to stick me in a home!

Still finding my om with RA…………..

Peace, Love and Light to all!