But you don’t look sick………

But you don’t look sick……………………………………………………..

I hear this all the time!  Looks can be very deceiving on the outside. RA is mostly an INVISABLE disease. The disease is not identical to the next persons and there are different levels of severity. Hearing that “you don’t look sick” is a tough part of the illness since we hurt from the inside it is not physically visible to the outsider. At times I never know what to say. Sometimes I say “thank you, I guess” or “lip gloss and a smile hide a lot”. I’m always afraid to say how I actually feel.  No one wants to hear “I’m having a major flare up and am in tremendous amounts of pain.” So I just smile through my pain, sometimes cry when no one is looking and fight battles that no one knows about.

The bad thing is because you do not look sick, you do not always get the understanding, compassion, and support that you sometimes need. People will tend to look at you with either empathy or they’ll look at you with disgust as if your disease isn’t real.

Having an autoimmune disease is like riding a wave of pain, emotion and physical limitations. It just drains you! It’s like you’re constantly being pushed and pulled to your breaking point and it never ends.  

Chronic pain forces you to keep thinking of what was, what could have been and what’s to come and how the pain will affect it all………….. It’s the ugly truth about a chronic disease.

Still finding my om with RA…………..

Peace, Love and Light to all!

I've been robbed by RA!

Some days I grieve the losses that RA has caused my body and today is simply one of those days for me!

In the last few months RA has stolen from me:

~ My mobility! The ability to do yoga, go to the gym and run & bike has been the most devastating as I have been always a go-go type of gal!

~ My energy! 

~ Some friendships

~ Independence

~ Social Life

~ The ability to sleep through the night

~ The ability to drive at night

Oh, but just don’t think that RA robbed me and ran off without leaving me some gifts like:

~ Daily pain

~ Swollen hands and feet

 ~ Headaches

~ Weakness

~ Extreme fatigue

~ Brain fog

~ Blurred vision

There is a theory called “The Spoon Theory” it was created by Christine Miserandino For the full theory, please visit her website here. http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

The theory is simply a story that explains what it is like to live with a chronic illness or disability. A person who is chronically disabled or ill only has a limited amount of expendable energy each day. The spoon theory uses a metaphor of spoons to turn energy into a measurable concept. A person living with chronic illness or disability only has a certain number of spoons in their possession each day, and every small action a person takes can result in a lost spoon. Once a person loses a spoon, it is very hard to get that back until after a full night’s sleep. Simple actions like getting out of bed, taking a shower, walking, and driving can require enormous amounts of energy that people don’t have. These chronic illnesses or disabilities can be visible or invisible. You cannot look at a person in nature.

For me as silly as it sounds the Spoon Theory is very true! If I have to do some vacuuming I certainly won’t be capable to manage my hair so an updo you’ll see me in.  If it’s painful when I brush my teeth and my hand cramps up, then no eyeliner for me.  If I’m running just a few errands, it is so very exhausting for me that it can take a few days for me to recover. Little things that we all take for granted daily have become difficult for me. I try not to get down about having RA. I try to stay positive and be so very thankful that I am alive and how things could always be much worse than what they are!  

Every day is a gift everyone so live it to the fullest and live in each moment! Enjoy every day that you have on this planet!

Still finding my om with RA.......................................

Peace, Love and Light to all!

*Warning this blog contains EXPLICIT language, run on sentences and other grammar errors! *